Marriage & Relationships

I think this is a topic that a lot of people are either scared to address in life or just decide to “jump” ship and look at their relationship as not working. I know from my own experience, especially having been sick that when the body is ever in fight or fright mode during this lifetime that energy ends up being stored in the body. I find that relationships tend to be harder for those that are more sensitive in this world. Most of my clients are sensitive and intuitive people. Sometimes this sensitivity can cause even the littlest thing to push a partner away. Some thoughts go from one extreme to another. One thought might be “am I good enough for him or her” and then the “next thought might be “is he or she meant to be and maybe there is someone better out there” “maybe this is a mistake.” I find that most of these thoughts tend to happen when we fail to allow sadness, grief or any feelings into our body. Most of the time these thoughts tend to happen during major life events such as moving, college, changing jobs, losing jobs, death etc.

Here are some great tips that have helped me along the way for any relationship anxiety you might have:

1 – Don’t follow the thought just observe it: Its important to just note that these are just thoughts and that they will pass if you don’t follow them. Its important to not grab onto these thoughts on the initial onset because if you do this might feed the energy more. A lot of religions look at these thoughts as satan or something that they need to fight. But rather these thoughts are from something inside you-a pattern in your life that has been following you for awhile. For me a lot of the time when these thoughts come up “maybe there is something better” “maybe this isn’t meant to be” a lot of the times the theme underneath is “I am not good enough.” This manifests in the continuing thought that I am not good enough and therefore he or she is not good enough. The mind or ego can be a tricky thing but when we just observe it without attachment life gets so much easier.

2 – Becoming okay with Death> I talk about this issue a lot because in the past many societies looked at life as being very temporary. Living for even 40 years seemed like a long time. We all hear the saying “life each day like it was your last” and if we really did live each day like it was our last we would truly be fearless. We would be fearless in love, fearless in taking risks, fearless in truly doing what our passion is. The problem is that the energy of fear has kept us stuck and even if we acknowledge the fear energy, it will keep coming back because the only way to get rid of negative energy that is not enhancing your life is to allow it to move through the body through EFT

3 – Watching those Thoughts: Oh gosh, I can write a book on this! Thoughts can be challenging and its important to always watch your thoughts like an observer. Watching your thoughts helps you objectively become the observer and not take places, ideas, people or things too seriously. When we start to take things personally and not accepting the way things are not realizing that everyone has their own glasses and spin on reality that is where things can get quite confusing. If you start to feel too many thoughts, anxiety and nervousness, slow your vibration down. Take a deep breath and on the exhale slowly massage your gut. This is where most of our feelings get trapped (just right below the solar plexus and near the transverse colon). I know! Our emotions get stuck in our gut. That is why everyone calls it a ‘gut feeling’.

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Sending everyone love and light in the first days of this new year. Be grateful that you are on your way to a better life and grateful for the lessons you’ve learned thus far.

Heather Levine